I did more study than I've ever done since the HSC - taking a year off really kills the brain function... now i'm wondering how i ever managed to do 8 hours a day before the HSC when 6 hours just tried to kill me ;) but i guess that my mind (and possibly even work ethic) may come back... one day...
Stumbled across a completely random poem on the internet:
"ELLIE: AN INVENTORY OF BEING" by Lea Wait (http://www.leawait.com/index.2ts?page=1009)
It's, well... weird, but poignant is the word i think - i can't decide which part's my favourite though!! since it's really long... here's the bits i thought were cool anyway :P
I am a student, and a lady, and a child;
Almost a woman, but always a girl.
I don't want to grow up, but I'm scared to stay young.
I eat too much, sometimes, and talk too much, often, and
Wish I could sleep too much, always.
I'm a loner, but I love being lonely.
I'm a conformist, except when I think.
I have horrible nightmares, and wild daydreams.
And I couldn't live without either.
I need someone to need me, because then I need them, too.
I'm a deadly realist, but I pretend to be idealistic.
I used to think there was no such thing as love.
Now I'm not so sure.
I never want to go to the moon, but I'd love to see penguins.
I've always felt that horses were incomplete zebras.
I love to see the sun rise, but hate to get up in the morning.
I'm perennially frustrated because I can't know everything.
And I'm annually concerned about self.
My name is Ellie, and this is 1967.
-- Now playing - george - Captive
I want to scream sometimes, louder than passing traffic
Yet only I can hear, my silent noise
Everyday consumes me, each step I'm falling in
Imprisoned in my own choice
And I know I choose to be, yet I feel I'm a captive of it
I make love to it, but I hate it
And I want to, but I'm scared of running away
To make love or to hate is all in my own hands
I suppose you always feel safe when you feel control
Yet under all I know, I'm never really in control
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